There is a boy…

There is a boy.
He is everything.
He is perfect.
I love him everyday.
He makes me feel alive.
<3

Miss me? Cause I missed you!

So wow I’ve been ugh… AFK? Partially my fault, and partially because my damn internet has been DEAD! So needless to say, I haven’t blogged in like a month? Ugh it pains me. I honestly have missed my alone time, my hours spent online blogging, posting, playing, surfing. Alas.

So many fabulous things to talk about! First; I’ve discovered the joys of BBM (Blackberry Messenger). It’s pretty much the greatest thing. Hardly any of my offline friends have Blackberrys so I never used it, until recently! So hooray for that, if you have BBM let me know. :)

Next I’m going to be very cliché and talk about the man. (Yes THE man not A man, because quite frankly he is THE ONLY man I’m interested in) Yes it’s Shawn. I’m quite thrilled and actually a tad surprised at how things have been going. The past couple weeks he’s… changed. It’s honestly hard for me to explain, you really have to see it. But he’s just being such a sweetie, and the ’sweet/romantic/lovey dovey’ thing is not his style, but he’s come a long way. No we’re not ‘dating’ or official, but we’re not seeing anyone else and for him, and me too, if we’re going to date someone, it’s going to be serious. None of this two-week relationship bullshit. I think we’re getting close, or he is. I already know I want him. As a matter a fact, he apparently has a surprise for me coming up. No idea what it could be, but I have my hopes, if you can imagine. So there’s my gushing, I tried to keep it short.

I woke up way too early this morning. Finally have a day off and I wake up at 7am and drive home from Shawn’s parents’ house. He’s working close to there now so he’s just staying with them. I decided to go on a little roadtrip last night and visit him. I ended up sleeping there because I was so tired and left this morning for home when he left for work. Now what I really need/want is a nice breakfast. God do I love breakfast food. <3 Thinking I’ll make a trip to Humpty’s. :D

/end random, much needed blog entry.

Going out alone?

Embarrassingly, I find it rather difficult to be happy doing things alone. I don’t mean online things like forums, blogging, World of Warcraft, etc, those are all great, but I’m talking about going out and about alone.

I feel like I’ve been putting too much emphasis on always being with people, never being independent. Well I want to change that. In fact just the other night, I got dressed up and went out to the bar. Alone. ^_^ It really wasn’t that bad! I made friends with the bartender and only spent $20 on the whole night! If only I could do more things like that and really truly have a good time. I feel like I’m forcing myself to smile most of the time… Like I’m only ever having fun and happy when I’m with Shawn. That pisses the HELL out me.

Since when did I become that girl!? The one who is only ever happy when she’s with a man. That is not me and I’ll be damned if it stays me. I really want to love myself more, and enjoy being with myself, by myself and be able to keep myself entertained.

What do you all do by yourself for fun? I’m trying to find some non-online answers as well, I want to get out in my city! I want to be that girl who has a great, fun, spontaneous, fabulous life! So do tell, and I want details!

Know what I hate?

I hate when people are so immature and have to try to ruin everyone else’s time. Apparently Dylan is too much of a tool and wants to make sure I can’t come on the big Long Weekend Camping trip. Shawn said that people think he doesn’t have fun when I’m around so instead of GROWING a FUCKING pair, he just doesn’t say anything. Dylan is the one who screwed me over, in case everyone has forgotten! UGH I’m so annoyed. I told everyone like a month ago that I have 5 days off for the long weekend and now what? I’m supposed to sit at home alone?

I’m going to talk to him about it after work. I tell you, if he doesn’t grow up and man up, I’m so out. I’ve been living at his place the last 2 weeks and I will pack up my stuff and leave. Like how dare he!! Oh poor dylan, but its fine for him to ruin my weekend? What a douche!!

Fkksjfkdi I’m so mad.